10 Tips for Writing The Male POV

By Dana Wayne

One of the many challenges I faced with my first book was learning to write from both male and female points of view. Obviously, I connected with the female side pretty easily, but the male side took some practice. I love dual POV because I believe that style enhances the reader experience.

While I have not found any hard and fast rules for accomplishing this, I did come across some general tips to help bridge that gap.

1. People watch.

People-watching is fodder for a writer’s brain. Before I retired, I traveled for a living, spent a lot of time in airports, restaurants, hotels, etc., and fell in love with people-watching, especially males. I studied how a guy walked, entered a hotel bar, and studied the room before sitting. How does he decide which girl to approach? How does he take rejection? What does his body language say about his disposition? With some practice, you can spot someone on the prowl, nursing a broken heart, or his general attitude by observing his body language.

2. Talk to guys.

Sounds simple, right? It’s not always easy, but it’s essential to understanding what a man says and how he says it. Every time you step out of the house, every encounter or social event presents an opportunity to study how men talk. Use your family and friends as guinea pigs. Ask questions, engage them in casual conversation, and examine how they respond.

From Chasing Hope:

“You said you couldn’t go because you had to work,” said Cade. “So I got someone to work for you.”

Max watched Sky’s transformation with a heady mixture of delight and desire. Face awash with color, eyes shooting daggers at Cade, her chest rose and fell rapidly as she struggled for control.

It was hot. And entertaining as hell.

“How dare you.” Sky took a step forward, hands fisted at her side. “You had no right to do that.”

Cade flashed his trademark smirk. “You need some fun in your life, babe, instead of being tied down with the kid and work all the time.”

Max almost felt sorry for the self-centered imbecile as he dug the hole deeper. Almost.

Cade reached for her hand, his timbre low and seductive. “Come on, babe. Stop with the games. You know you wanna go out with me.”

3. When does your story take place? Who is your character?

How old is your character? What’s his occupation? What’s the setting for the story? How did he grow up? Only child? Large family? The answers impact how you write his POV. A twenty-something guy today will not think, act, or speak the same way a thirty-something man. And guys today behave differently from guys in the mid-1800s. So, research is essential to getting the nuance right.

From Mail Order Groom:

“Got a smart mouth on her, though,” declared another from the group. “Don’t know a woman’s place.”

“Yeah,” said Lucky. “She runs Twin Oaks like a man. Even wears britches!”

“And that’s bad?” Ty’s question held a note of sarcasm the group didn’t appear to notice.

“Well, yeah,” said the leader of the group. “A woman should be doing woman stuff like cookin’ and havin’ babies, not branding cattle.”

“I help out from time to time,” offered the man nearest Slim. “Last year I seen her wrestle this bull calf to the ground and castrate him right then and there.”

Lucky actually shuddered. “A woman ought not do that.”

4. Men talk less

I read somewhere that men speak 7000 words a day and women 20000 or more. I don’t know how true those stats are, but I do know men tend to be less vocal. But just because your guy is silent doesn’t mean he isn’t thinking. Introspection is a great way to convey information to the reader that reveals character traits, wants or needs.

 From Texas Winds: Jake couldn’t get that damned kiss off his mind. He hadn’t planned on doing anything more than pick up the stupid dog and leave. But the site of her in the laundry room, lop-sided bun on top of her head, and those sexy librarian glasses perched on her nose was too much. And picking her up—again, wasn’t the smartest thing to do, either. Maybe he should just send her to the cabin now while he still maintained a scrap of restraint.

The woman had him tied in knots, unable to focus. How could it feel like he’d known her forever instead of just a few days?             

5. Men are visual.

As a general rule, if a guy sees something, it’s more likely to stay with him, so your male POV will have more seeing. Thoughts and feelings are easily stimulated by what he sees.

From Whispers On The Wind (MMC is a cop):

He froze mid-step.

It was her. The woman from his dream last night.

What the hell?

No mistake about it. Every detail was present. The gash on her forehead, the dried blood in the corner of her mouth, and crusted in her nose. He stared for several heartbeats, unable to process the fact she was the woman in the dream. He clamped his jaw tight and focused on the job.

6. Just the facts.

Most men are big-picture kinda guys and not detail-oriented. Unless, of course, your guy is a cop or Spec Ops guy on assignment, then the opposite is true. But, generally speaking, men don’t care about the label or style of the woman’s dress. He cares that the sleek, black dress fits her like second-skin and shows a mile of shapely legs.

From Whispers On The Wind (MMC is a cop):

Coop glanced at the driver’s license photo and leaned forward. “I think I’ve seen her before.” Thick browns drew together in a tight line as he racked his brain for information. “It’s the hair. You don’t see that white-blonde color very often. He tapped the photo. “I’m pretty sure she’s been a guest at Eva’s. I’ll be back shortly. If she was a guest at The Grove, Eva will remember. Maybe help us piece together a timeline.” He grabbed his hat on the way out. “In the meantime, see what else you can find out about her. Where she was going, anything.”

7. Men are logical.

You’ve had a bad day and just want a hug and kind words. However, he wants to tell you how to keep that from happening again because he’s a fixer. Something’s wrong, you fix it. That’s how a guy operates. And they don’t understand tears. Very few men I know can handle anything involving tears. If you’re lucky, you get a pat on the shoulder and the old “it’s gonna be alright’ speech. They’re guys. They need to fix it. Hugs don’t fix things.

From Texas Winds:

“Bobby was right. We should have had you checked out at the hospital.”

“…no.”

“You could be—”

Silent tears leaked from her tightly clenched eyes, and he froze. What the hell did I do wrong?

“…don’t.”

“Don’t what? If the pain is so bad it makes you cry, then something is seriously wrong.”

Her lips quivered and a soft sob escaped.

No he felt like an ass. On top of bering hurt and sick, he4’d made her cry. Humbled, he rubbed the ack of his neck. “Look, I’m sorry if I upset you, Lexie, but this can’t be normal.” Like I got a clue about what constitutes normal female behanior in this situation.

… She sniffled and hiccuped twice. “I…hate crying.”

“If anyone has a right to, it’s you.”

She whimpered and clenched her eyes again. “…don’t…be nice.”

He sat back and stared. Don’t be nice? What the hell? “I’m just trying to help.”

Granted, he probably sucked at it, but he was trying. He shook his head. It was an exercise in futility to figure out how a woman’s mind worked. And he had no time for lost causes. “Fine. I won’t be nice.”

8. Men touch, women feel.

Sex is an essential aspect of the male POV. But guys don’t always think about sex. Of course, it does cross their mind, but not every waking hour. When writing from the male POV, remember that men generally connect through physical touch, whereas women connect emotionally.

From Texas Winds: The moment she leaned against him, he shot into sensory overload. Dormant nerve endings rapidly stirred to live. Everywhere they touched tingled. His pulse quickened, and a ripple of excitement raced through him. Each rapid beat of his heart became a drumbeat in his ears. Her light floral scent and the smell of warm rain-soaked skin teased him. He couldn’t move. Couldn’t breathe.

9. The second look.

A guy will always notice a girl walking by, regardless of her general sex appeal. That first look is impulse – she walks by, he notices. It’s the second look, that double-take, that signifies interest. That interest can be good or bad or anything in between, but it’s still the second look that indicates interest.

From my current WIP Firestorm:

Hell, he’d even cut the damn thing out and kept it in his desk drawer. How pathetic was that? Silently labeling her The Ice Queen hadn’t helped at all.

Seeing her in person tonight, all prim and proper, like butter wouldn’t melt in her mouth, the label jumped out at him, even as his crazy heart raced like a runaway train.

Everything from her regal posture to how she sipped the wine screamed money and class. Coffee-colored hair pulled into a tight bun at the nape, and pearl studs in her ears emphasized the delicate bone structure of her face and the fullness of ruby-colored lips. The basic black dress and single strand of pearls would look simple on most women. On her, it was elegant.  

When their gazes locked briefly, the jolt of desire was so potent it shocked him.

The returning look of interest took his breath.

10. Make the voice fit the man.

It’s not just what he says, but how he says it. The words must fit the man. A no-nonsense, ex-military cop will speak differently than a book-smart lawyer—both in the words he uses and how he uses them. If the words don’t mesh, if they aren’t believable for your character, the story will fall flat, and your reader will be gone.

Whether I write one POV per chapter or switch within a chapter depends entirely upon the story and the scene. When both are in the same chapter, I finish one, do a scene break and begin the other.

The POV switch is critical and must be distinct and timed right. Too early or too late can break the flow and become a stumbling block for the reader.

If you spent half the morning working on a female-centric viewpoint and must now convey the male side, it may take your brain time to refocus on the new character, their thoughts, and feelings. Depending on the situation, you may reread a scene with him in it. If you’re on a roll, it may be as simple as picturing the situation in your mind and writing what you see.

Writing the male POV isn’t easy, but it can strengthen your writing and enhance the story.

Dana Wayne fulfilled a lifelong dream of becoming a published author in 2016 at the age of sixty-six. She has self-published seven highly regarded and award-winning novels and a cookbook. Among her work's honors are several international awards, including the prestigious Best Indie Book Award, Bronze Medal from Readers Favorite, the International Impact Book Award and a Semi-Finalist Kindel ebook Award for 2024. A sought-after speaker and frequent guest on various writing blogs, she’s a die-hard romantic whose heart-warming stories are filled with strong women, second chances, and happily ever after. When she isn’t writing or spending time with family, she is an avid crafter, especially Christmas- related items, her favorite being tabletop Christmas trees, a craft she learned from her mother. Visit Dana Wayne’s website.