It’s almost like a commandment: Show, don’t tell.
The problem is that many writers struggle with understanding the difference. After all, isn’t everything we write part of telling a story?
Here’s what you need to know about Show Vs. Tell
The basic difference between show and tell is:
Showing creates a visual impression.
Telling provides information.
Why is Showing So Important?
Creating a picture or movie in your readers’ minds is what evokes emotion. It connects them to your characters and makes them care enough to keep reading. Consider these two scenes:
Telling
Megan was furious that Cole had lied to her. She was also hurt because she’d trusted him. When he tried to explain, she told him she didn’t want to hear it and left.
Showing:
“You knew?” Megan glared at him. “This whole time?”
Cole stepped toward her. “Megan, I can explain.”
She backed away. “How long?”
“Since before we met.”
Her heart sank. Three months of trusting him. Of falling for him.
She grabbed her purse.
“Megan—”
“Don’t.” She jerked open the door. “I can’t believe whatever you say.” She walked out before he could see her cry.
In the first example, we’re told what Megan is feeling and doing. She’s angry and left without letting him explain. In example two, we experience her anger and actions. We’re by her side as she feels the hurt and betrayal.
How to show instead of tell
First, let’s go over when you should show instead of tell. Show when:
- emotion matters
- the moment changes something
- romantic tension is building
- conflict is occurring
- you want the reader immersed in the experience
Use the Senses:
Ask yourself, what does the thing you want to convey look like? Or smell like? Or feel like. Or sound like? Or taste like. In other words, use the senses to deliver the information.
Tell: Jane was freezing.
Show: Jane shoved her hands deeper into her pockets and tucked her chin into her scarf.
Use Specific Actions and Strong Verbs
Instead of naming an emotion, condition, or reaction, look for an action that lets the reader infer what the character is experiencing.
Tell: Jake was angry.
Show: Jake slammed the drawer shut.
Tell: Ben was nervous about the interview.
Show: Ben paced the hallway, tugging at his tie.
Notice that slammed, paced, and tugging give the reader something to visualize. We don’t have to say Jake is angry or Ben is nervous because their actions make that clear to the reader.
Use Dialogue, Action, and Subtext
Dialogue can help you show what’s happening, but simply having a character share information isn’t showing. Instead, combine dialogue with action, reaction, and subtext so the reader experiences the moment. HINT: It’s also a great way to reduce dialogue tags, which are telling.
Tell: The car was about to explode, so they hurried to get away.
Show: “Run!” Jake grabbed her arm and dragged her away from the smoking car.
Dialogue can also reveal emotion.
Tell: Sarah was angry that Tom was late again.
Show: “Nice of you to join me.” Sarah picked up her purse. “I hope you and the empty chair will have a lovely dinner.”
Be careful not to use dialogue simply to info dump. Good dialogue often reveals information indirectly through what characters say (or don’t say), and do (or don’t do) while they’re speaking.
Don’t Explain What You’ve Already Shown
One of the easiest ways to slip into telling is to explain what a character’s actions, dialogue, or reactions mean. If you’ve given readers enough information to understand what’s happening, trust them to get it.
Explain: Jane could see that her words hurt him.
Show: His smile disappeared, and he looked away.
Be especially careful about showing something and then telling it anyway:
Show, then tell: His smile disappeared, and he looked away. Her words had hurt him.
Better: His smile disappeared, and he looked away.
The second sentence isn’t necessary. His reaction already tells us her words hurt him.
The inverse is true too. Don’t tell, then show:
Tell, then show: Jane was nervous. She twisted the napkin between her fingers.
Better: Jane twisted the napkin between her fingers.
Also, words such as noticed, realized, wondered, knew, felt, and saw can be clues that you’re explaining rather than letting the reader experience it.
Tell: Jane realized the room had gone quiet.
Show: The room had gone quiet.
Tell: Jane wondered if she was safe.
Show: Was she safe?
If readers know whose POV they’re in, they don’t need to be told Jane is the one realizing or wondering because they already know.
This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t ever use those words. If you see yourself using them, ask yourself: Am I filtering the experience through the character when I could put the reader directly into it? In fact, during my revisions, I’ll use the Find feature to search for these words, so I’m sure to review them.
Many editing tools such as Autocrit and ProWritingAid have features that identify unnecessary and filler words.
Use Body Language and Physical Reactions
Body language and physical reactions are great ways to show what a character is feeling without telling the emotion.
Tell: She was nervous.
Show: She twisted the napkin between her fingers.
Be careful about using familiar physical reactions such as a pounding heart, caught breath, clenched fists, tightened jaw, churning stomach, or heated cheeks. There’s nothing wrong with these reactions, but if they’re your go-to way of showing emotion, they can become repetitive and lose their impact. My overused go-to is an arched brow. So many brows arch in my stories. Tight jaws too… LOL.
Instead, consider how this specific character expresses emotion. One angry character might slam a door. Another might clean the kitchen. Another becomes frighteningly quiet. Character-specific reactions not only show emotion, but also reveal personality.
Phrasing books can help with this. Check out Body Beats to Build On by April Gardner. It’s basically a thesaurus for describing body movement.
Other books to check out include The Emotion Thesaurus by Becca Puglisi and Angela Ackerman (in fact, their entire Writers Helping Writers series is good). Master List for Writers by Bryn Donovan offers a little bit of everything in the quest to find the right words.
Use Internal Thoughts
Showing doesn’t always require a physical action or reaction. A character’s thoughts can reveal what they’re feeling. This is especially useful in romance, when characters have feelings they’re not willing to verbally share.
Tell: Sarah was jealous when she saw Jake talking to another woman.
Show: Of course Jake’s friend was gorgeous. He was never far from a woman who had less than a D-cup.
We don’t need to be told Sarah is jealous. Her thoughts make it clear. We also get a sense of her personality and voice.
Internal thoughts can show attraction, fear, frustration, longing, insecurity, and other emotions.
Tell: Maria was attracted to him, even though she didn’t want to be.
Show: Why did the most irritating man she’d ever met have to look that good in a suit?
Whenever you’ve named an emotion, consider instead what your character might think because they’re experiencing that emotion. You’ll not only show the emotion, but also give insight into the character’s personality and voice.
HOWEVER…Telling isn’t always wrong.
Sometimes you want to give information instead of showing. If your character is doing mundane activities such as getting out of bed and getting ready for work, we don’t need a play-by-play unless, of course, it’s important to the plot or reveals character.
Show the moments you want readers to experience. Tell the information they simply need to know.
For example: They spent the next three days driving across the country.
You probably don’t need to show us three days of driving unless something important happens.
Use telling when:
- you’re transitioning between scenes
- summarizing time
- conveying routine or unimportant information
- the information doesn’t deserve page space
Do you have more tips on how to show versus tell? Let me know in the comments!
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